Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in Matt's LiveJournal:

Friday, December 31st, 2004
8:41 am	Theres One Thing I Can Do Nothing About. well its already new years eve, can you believe another year has past by?. its crazy.. but today was a sad day for me cause on this day last year i was so happy but this year im just sad, but i rather not talk about it, i still have no job, so that blows, i bought dans acoustic guitar then i got yelled at by my dad cause i should be saving my money cause i dont have a job right now and hes right so dan said he will give me the money back, umm my hands been feeling better if you care? haha, yea theres just this giant lump on my pinky over my knuckle, but i hope it goes away cause if i look at it all the time im just gonna reamber that i did that to myself over a girl and i dont want to reamber that so hopefully it will go down and hey if it dosent i could always punch the wall again, haha, just kidding, um the bands doing good, we wrote this amazing song, its like my favorite song, and i useally dont have a favorote song, but theres just something about this one that make me happy, so when im sad i useally just play it by myself, infact i was just plasying it .. why?. cause i was sad so yea i donbt know your probably wondering why im home on new years, well 1st of all im a loser that has like 4 friends, i relize that someone pointed that out before and i dont know i finally relized that i am i guess but whatever, i might only have 4 friends but atleast i know they will always be there for me, i rather have 4 friends then tons of friends, but whatever i know im a loser. so thats the first reason, and i was suppose to hang out with jess but i dont know her parents didn't want her too, so im stuck home, shawn went to his hollister party with all his friends from work or something i coud have went but i dont drink or smoke so i would have felt werid, dan went to Boston with jennay, and casey was going to hang out with beth, i wish i had someone to hang out with :/. all i really want is someone that likes me for who i am and that wont get md atr me for careing about them and just watching out for them but i prob never will and thats fine god has a plan for everyone i guess, so this is my new years, haha fun huh, just feels so werid last years was so fun and now i just sucks, but i just hope its a good year, im just really down right now and i have no one to talk about it, but anyway, yea my phone still isent working, i get service everywhere else but my house, haha, its gay i dont know what to do im wondering if its the area code or something cause dan gets full service with his phone in my house its strange, it might be the sim card or sonething so i think im gonna cancel it then go get a new one cause its a wicked nice phone too, santa got it for me, haha, i got my cd player installed ... wednsday?.. i think? i forget.. but yea the cd player was like $140. and then the installation was $50 and then i had to buy these plugs and chords and shit and that came up to $70 i was soo mad, lol but whatever atleast i dont have to use that gay walkmen anymore and have people hit and it shut off, haha.. i hope you had a good christmas whoevers reading this...:) i seen like 4 movies in 1 week, lol and i think im going to the movies sunday night to see that bill murry movie the like aqotic or whatever it is, it looks so funny i cant wait, prob see it after band practice so it will be fun, dont know whats up for tomorow though casey said he wants to go see the avaiator and then shawn wants to go to a show at AAR, so maybe both jess wanted me to go ver her house when her parents werent home?.. dosent sound like a good idea to me, i rather just meet her parents then do all this sneaky stuff i mean they either like me or they dont so whatever maybe they wont like me as much as cameron or maybe they will i dont know . but we'll never find out if she does this sneaky stuff behind there back, maybe im just ment to be alone for the rest of my life ya know? maybe i'll never get married, never find that specail someone, i mean who would want to be with me anyway? im not good looking, im controling, im a psycho i was told i dont know im just really down today i cant think positive about anything i prob shouldent be alone when im feeling like this, and i thought i was gonna be with jess tonight but that back fired in my face so i dont know maybe i'll go watch a movie or something just wish i had someone to hang out with thats all, sorry for being so depressed in this entry, maybe i'll be better in the next one :/ HAPPY NEW YEAR! (hope its an awesome one) Current Mood: bored (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 25th, 2004
9:47 am	Your a Mean One. Well Today was Christmas, it was fun being with the family, well everyone left last night about 10:00 10:30, i was very happy to see Jason, Linds, and Chris, i miss them alot, i havent seen much of them since my uncle passed away, and it blows, and i missed him alot today and yesterday, it just didn't seem right not seeing him today and last night, i mean the Holidays are sooooooo fun with him around, i bought him this plate a couple years ago, with this Black santa, and i laughed sooo hard, and then hes like dont you worry matt, you will get it back i dont know when but you will get it back, lol and on my gradatuion party, thats what he gave me, lol.. i dont know i could tell my dad was a litle said he wasent here eaither, they were really close, and he missed him, everyone missed him, but its a part of life, it sucks , exspecially when its youre facorite uncle :0/ i dont know, anyway olivia was the first one up this morning, (lol of corse she is shes the youngest) and it was about 8:00 and she woke me up telling me santa came, ut i just wanted to sleep , but i was a nice guy and got up. lol ( only cause dad and mom said too) so we opened up are presents, kurt and olivia got everything they wanted, i got what i wanted too, but i dont really need anything, i could have just went out and bought the stuff on my own, its like when your younger, its the best feeling to get presents, but when you et older, you feel guilty taking presents , welli did anyway, i mean my grandmother bought me a wallet and put 200 bucks in it.. what the hell .. i yelled at her and my grandfather for like 5 mins, cause i dont need it, so they just said to put it in your savings, but i still feel guilty, haha, out of all the presents olivia got last night she liked mine the best, it was insane, i didn't think she wanted a carebear that much, lol but she ran to me and gave me a kiss, it feels good to make other people happy and see smiles on there face, i got kurt harry potter 3 and he seemed happy, and he bought me like this big thing of insents, which was very nice of him but i dont know what he expects me to do with them,. lol im not a pot head or anything, but they do smell nice so i'll put them somewhere where it smells, i got my cd player for my car today, so no more of that fucking discman thing pluged into the tape plyer, which mens no more of dan or casey coming into my car like a fucking moose and knocking it over and shuting it off, haha, thats pretty much all i wanted for christamas, i didn't even ask for the phone they just bought me it, its a very nice phone its a camnera phone and when someone calls it flashes all these craxy lighys, it beats the gangster phone ( Nextel), and i got new shoes and a Marshmellow Gun... haha yes a Marshmellow gun, it shoots marshmellows its awesome i didn't think it would work but they shoots like 30 feet, haha, but it was a good christmas, just sucked not being with my uncle rick , sucks loseing someone that means so much to you,, chris let me Borrow Bam Margera's Movie Haggard, so im gonna watch that soon, i offerd if he wanted to borrow Viva la Bam cause i watched it like 5 times already, haha, but anyway i missed jess today, the more i talk to her the more i like her, shes just so awesome, i was laying down watching music videos on demand at my grandmothers and she called me, and i was wicked happy and i talked to her for like 7 mins then she had to go because her cousin needed her :0( and i hope i can hang out with her alot this week, cause i still have no job, lol, and she was telling me how she likes the ButterFly Effect and i told her ho its one of my favorite movies and i got pumped, because we listin to most of the same bands, and she likes the same movies that i like, its awesome, i saw the sickest Scarf in a music video to tell her, its like that aticus dress shirt i have the Gray and Black Stripes, it was just like that, im gonna find it and buy it, thursday night we wrote this awesome song, like im so happy with it, like the sound to it is just so awesome, i hope shawn can write some amazing lyrics to it, i cant wait to buy dans acoustic guitar, im pumped, i want to learn so many songs on it, alot of saves the day's acoustic stuff, my hand is killing me still lol, i shock so many of my reliatives hands today and they squzzed my hand and i was just like shittttt, lol but he it was worth it, next wekend is my dads bday so i get to see my cousins again, and when i think about it, this christmas was the last one i will probably spend with linds, cause shes having a baby soon, and her husband dave is in the navy and hes stationed in Florida, and shes moving down there with him after she has the baby, and im gonna miss her alot, and i dont know whats gonna happen to jason, i love hanging out with him too, i know he would beat the shit out of anyone that fucked with me so i know he has my back and i really should start hanguing out with chris more we use to hang out like every wekend, but i dont know hat happend, i dont just want to see him on holidays i want to see him ore, go to shows or something, skateboard, whatever, dosent matter, but im gonna go talk to jess now.. so i'll update again.. bye byeeee Merry Christmas! Current Mood: thankful (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 23rd, 2004
11:40 am	Jessie and My Whetstone Well i havent updated this in a while but, im feeling alot better, i dont feel sad anymore, i mean it hurts sometimes but 99% of the time im always happy, today i went and saw meet the fockers with jess, i had an awesome time, shes just so awsome, shes like my type you know? like everything about her that i know so far is awesome,, shes lisins to the same music as me, she wears Scarfs!, i love the way she puts her hair, i dont know i never thought i would end up liking another girl, but to be honest im really starting to like jess shes just an amazing person and i want to get to know her more, and hopefully she feels the same way, but if she dosen't then oh wel it sucks but it would be so awesome if we get to know eachother more because everything i know about her now i like, and i dont know maybe theres a reason why it didn't work out with kailee, maybe god has differnt plans for me, maybe theres someone better for me out there, i mean jess saw me at circuit city when we didn't even know eachother and then she found me on my space, and then we both saw eachother outside the action action show but i didn't want to say anything cause i didn't know if it was her, she said the same, and then i seen her when i went and saw ladder 49, she sat across from me, i dont know maybe its a sign or something , thats what i like tolook at it as, i relly like talking to her shes wicked funny, she makes me laugh alot, and we both love walmart! its great, so thats whats happened this week i got laid off last wek so im trying to see if dad can get me a job as a show room assisent at the avon jorden, because hes the in house carpenter, he builds the show rooms and stuff, hes wicked good at what he does, so hopeefully i'll get a job there soon, but its 11:51.. 9 mins until christmas Eve, woever readsthis i hope you have a great xmas, because i will and hopedully everything will turn out better, i mean i lost my g/f and starting to relize how much of a waste of time it was cause she didn't care about me, i lost my uncle rick which sucks cause he was like a second father to me, and he always made me laugh and he was my favorite uncl and i think this spring im gonna get a sleeve for him on ion the back of my arm, from my shoulder to my elbow, thats how much he meant to meand i miss him everyday and love him :(.. and i lost my job which was kind of good cause that place made me depressed and i hateed working there, but i need money for car insurance and gas and buy presents for people, haha, and to top it off i broke my hand, haha, i punched a wal december 2nd, and then went to get it checked out december 17th and they were lie yea its broke and we cant do anything caue its already starting to heal so im gonna have a lump on my pinky, lol soo yea hopefully 2005 will be better, i can move on with my life i already have and im feeling alot better now, so i'll right in here son prob after xmas, have a god holiday everyone! byeee Current Mood: flirty (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 29th, 2004
4:44 pm	This is my first live journal update, be my friend Current Mood: bouncy (2 Comments |Comment on this)